The Picture of Dorian Gray. July 2012.

Dear Rowley,

A good day’s work at No 17 Clifford Street with the gang but I still don’t feel 100% up to snuff so retired to the daybed in Bloomsbury Towers with the boxed set of Downton Abbey. It is incredibly well written and produced even on second coming. The casting is bordering on peerless. I find the love affair between Carson and Lady Mary’s maid a little implausible but there’s no accounting for taste.

Reasons to be cheerful today. I happened to pick up last week’s Private Eye and looked at the first cartoon. It is of an old couple; he pouring tea and she reading Fifty Shades of Grey. He to she, ‘more tea, Marjorie?’ She to he, ‘tie me up in bondage and do me’. Tee hee. Do like Private Eye, don’t you? It is the only newspaper in Britain quite frankly apart from our paper (Daily Mail).

So do you like Mr Morgan-Owen’s initial oil sketch for my portrait? Enough to frighten small children and panic the cat, no? It went down very well at No 17 though Anda said the mouth and lower jaw are too Flashman for my usual set of teeth. Apparently, the portrait will be full length. Can you imagine that glowering down at the soup course? Mr Morgan-Owen is talented. In fact I would venture to say he is a man of many parts…some of them his own.